Zac, in a few days it will be 3 years since you left us here on earth. God how I miss you and wish you would of come to me for help. There is so much that you have missed out on and so many times I think to myself that "I wish Zac was here to enjoy this with us". I know if you had known how this would tear us up inside, you would of never have done it. I know the pain you were in because as a mom, I felt it with you everyday. Sometimes I just get so angry with myself for not doing more that day before. I didn't listen to my insticts that something was wrong but never did I imagine this........I am so sorry that I ever told you that Buster had cancer that night before, but I was trying to get you to talk to me about what was wrong. You were so down and short with me that I just knew something wasn't right. But I had to respect your wishes of not wanting to talk with me. But now I often wonder if that news helped you make up your mind.......God I wish I could of been there for you!!!!!

God gave you so much here on earth but must of needed you with him in heaven. People tell me all the time that there is a purpose for this but after three years, I still can not find it. I only wish I had a second chance with you. I know now how things would of been different if only God had given me that moment to stop you and help you. 

You will always be here with me and you family. I know someday we will meet up again but that day seems so far away. Just look over all of us as when we have those bad days or moments. 

I love you so much Zac, somedays it is just so unbearable to even think of you not being here with me. But know, my heart and soul are with you always as a piece of it left when you left.  

Love Mom

 

I Can’t Tell You Precious Brother
How Many Tears I’ve Cried
Since The Day I Was Told
My Precious Brother Had Died
It Seems Impossible
Although I Know It’s True
Because Everything I See
Reminds Me Of You
I Still Hear Your Laughter
See The Smile On Your Face
I Would Have Lost My Sanity
If Not For God’s Saving Grace
I Have To Close This Letter Now
But This Is Not Good-bye
For You Will Forever Walk Softly
In My Heart And In My Mind

Once upon time there were a guy who never  his parents about killing himself and he forgot that his sister  was in the house when he shoot himself. His parent found out how he shoot him self and she was running and throwing the phone on the ground and smeaming really hard  and tha familya nd friend was crying really hard for you never died and you could stay alive and do  stuff with  the family and friends. his friend really miss you and you should come back to earths and working with your mom and dad when they  get  upset and  tell them its okay to  cry and be happy . He will always here with us and in our hearts and heads. Im doing well and very sad that you are not here to make us happy and make us smile and do stuff  with friends like movie and tv  and helps with the garberge scale and tomorrow morning and afternoon and night with me and the the dogs when they  are playing with each other and barking at the people  who walking passing our house they  will ran into the streets  with the person who walking there dogs and friend

hey zac what are you doing up there is paul being nice to  up there   how is buster   doing up  there

zac why did you leaves mom and dad and our familys  You are only thing i have left. We all miss you and love you very much and mom always think about you everyday  of her life. dad have a funny job and nakhanh have a tatoo on her side. mom said she have to  paid to  get  a tatoo.  Garrett alway talk you everyday and he told me you  saw i have a problem and watching over  us and saying hi to  us and missing the best  stuff down here so  i have school everyday of my life then i have to  be in 10 grade next year. so mom alway love you and miss you very much and i ahve to  go  to  school. Yeah  me :) 

Dear Bunny John and family,

I don’t know how to console you all except to say that I think of you all and Zac every day.   We can only know in our hearts that he is at peace and with our loving Father in Heaven.  It’s what gets us through every day!!  As Christians it is what we all believe and live for isn’t it?  (THE NEXT WORLD)

I pray that God brings you all just a little bit of peace and Joy this season and that you can all smile when you talk about him and remember all the great memories he left you with. 

REMEMBER…..

God shall wipe all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death,
nor crying, nether shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
-Revelation 21:4